“Jack the Giant Slayer” opens a long, long time ago, in the far away country of what we assume is England, where lived a bunch of curious monks who, oddly, were not familiar with the story of Babel in the Bible. Wanting to get closer to God, the monks created special beans that, when planted, grow stalks large enough to climb right up to Heaven’s Door.

When they finally make it to the top of the enormous stalk they weren’t knock, knocking on Heaven’s door — they were face-to-face with giants.

The giants, possessing a sense of smell like a bloodhound, could not resist the tasty aroma of the monk BO. After eating the monks, the giants continued their bloodlust towards the castle.

Luckily, the monks also created a handy-dandy crown that could control Giants. Using the crown, their king was able to banish them back to their floating island in the sky.

Cut to a more modern long time ago where a young Jack is being told this story by his father the same time as Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) is being told the story by her mother. It is at this point, I groan at the inevitable fact these two will grow up and like each other.

Cut again to a grown Jack (Nicholas Hoult) trying to sell his old busted nag in the market. He spots a lovely girl who we all know is the princess because, you know, who else could it be? She gets in trouble when some men kidnap her, cueing Jacks defend-her-honor mode. After some mild fighting, the castle’s head knight Elmont (Ewan McGregor) shows up and takes her away, giving away her identity to Jack.

Jack finally wanders back to his horse and sells it for some beans to a monk who is in need of a getaway. Jack then returns to his Uncle, who is obviously furious he sold their only horse for some beans.

Meanwhile, the king’s advisor Roderick (Stanley Tucci) is questioning the monk for the location of both the beans and the crown. Drama ensues. The Princess gets mad at her father, King Brahmwell (Ian McShane) for not letting her adventure or something like that.

The story continues with Beast and Obi-Wan trying to rescue the adventuring princess and defeat the giants once and for all.

I will start off with saying that this movie is exactly what it advertised. It is a mindless, straightforward CGI adaption of the well-loved “Jack and the Beanstalk” story. I went into the movie expecting just that and was not disappointed. However, those with higher expectations of a movie with new plot twists will be disappointed. The CGI was nothing to marvel at, with all of the giants looking pretty much the same.

The acting was decent for the most part and really carried the movie more than the action scenes.

All and all, “Jack the Giant Slayer” is a movie that should be watched when it hits Redbox.