Nothing wrong with not knowing what to do

“Not all those who wander are lost” – an accurate phrase to describe my undergraduate career and all that has come with it.

Starting my senior year this week is surreal, because I feel like I was starting my freshman year just yesterday. The three years leading up to this one have been filled with many ups and downs, as well as a tremendous amount of “finding myself” time.

I started college at a university four hours away from home, intent on getting as far away as possible. I threw myself into campus involvement, pledging a sorority and serving in student government. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life, but everyone told me that was OK and I’d figure it out before the end of the year. I didn’t. I also didn’t figure it out the second year.

My third year, I began writing for The Flor-Ala. I love this paper, and within it I’ve found a family that I never knew I could have. But as much as I love writing and The Flor-Ala, I found my true academic love rooted in sociology halfway through the spring semester. The Change of Major forms finally ceased.

I found myself quitting my off-campus job at the end of last semester to move to Atlanta for the summer. It wasn’t something I gave much thought to, because, admittedly, my motives for applying for and accepting the job were heavily based on the relationship I had been in for the past year – a relationship that, unfortunately, ended.

Now I’m here, at the beginning of the end, looking back at everything that has led to this point. I wandered for three years, dabbling in everything and never committing to anything. However, I’m graduating in May with a degree in something I love and finally decided that graduate school and teaching is what will (hopefully) come of my future.     

I’m not promoting my undergraduate path by any means.

My point is this: no matter where you are at in the grand scheme of college, not having all of the answers is OK. I was told by several people after my first year that I needed to have all of the answers, but the truth is, if I hadn’t had the last three years to wander, I wouldn’t know who I am at all or what I really wanted to do. I knew all along I wasn’t lost, even if it appeared to others as though I was.

I found who I am since that scary day I began my freshman year. I’m a loud, sarcastic, sometimes overly eager, wanderlust-ridden girl who never had any of the answers my first three years of college. Hell, I still don’t have all of the answers. You won’t always have them, either. Sometimes you’ll wander. Enjoy it. Take advantage of it and find out who you are. And take solace in this: not all those who wander are lost.