‘Titanic in 3D’ barely stays afloat

April 10, 2012, marks the 100th anniversary of RMS Titanic’s doomed maiden voyage.

To commemorate the famous ocean liner and the people who lost their lives April 15, 1912, “Titanic” has been re-mastered in 3D for theaters.

Everything from the 1997 blockbuster remains intact in the 3D version.

However, the stars seen in the sinking sequence have been changed to correlate with the actual star position on that fateful night.

Besides this minor change, nothing has been altered in this rerelease.

“Titanic in 3D” was written and directed by James Cameron, the mastermind behind films like “Avatar” and “Aliens,” and distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The movie was also the film that elevated actors Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet into stardom.

“Titanic in 3D” mainly focuses on the love story of Rose Bukater, a rich girl arranged to marry the son of a steel tycoon, and Jack Dawson, a poor artist who won his ship ticket in a game of poker.

As the story progresses, their love is put to the test by Rose’s controlling mother, her abusive fiancé and the sinking ship around them.

“Titanic in 3D” begins in 1996 with Brock Lovett, a treasure hunter, searching the Titanic’s wreckage for The Heart of the Ocean, a blue diamond necklace said to be worth millions.

While the search initially ends in vain, they recover a drawing of a nude woman wearing the necklace.

Hearing about the discovery of the drawing on the news, an elderly Rose contacts Brock, claiming that she is the woman in the drawing.

She is flown to Brock’s ship and, from there, is taken down to the Titanic’s resting place in hopes of finding the necklace.

Rose then tells the story of what happened to her on the Titanic.

The film originally cost $200 million to make, plus another $18 million for the 3D conversion, and it shows.

I was really impressed by the lavish scenery in the movie and the different angles used in the film.

The sound effects were probably my favorite part of the movie.

I could distinctly hear all the idle chatter in the background, as well as every creak and groan emitted by the Titanic.

The 3D was also pretty great, though not quite as impressive as native 3D films.

I could literally feel the ocean spray on my skin as the hallways of the Titanic became a raging river.

It’s a shame, however, that the movie was in letterbox format (two black bars at the top and bottom of the screen).

It’s not too distracting, and I assume it was done to avoid stretching the original video, though it is something to note. Despite the video and audio production being impressive, the dialog and secondary characters seem almost like an afterthought.

Much of the dialog in the film is laughably bad, and it seems like the purpose for many of the minor characters is to be shot, crushed by falling smokestacks and to add to the body count.

I wish I could have cared for these characters, but seeing as their roles in the story were limited, I was left feeling indifferent when they died. Rose and Jack also seem to be immune to the icy waters, despite Jack’s warnings that “You can’t breathe. You can’t think,” in freezing waters.

Water of that temperature should have killed them in minutes. However, they swim around the icy, flooded corridors for minutes on end, and emerge without a trace of hypothermia.

“Titanic in 3D” is a hard recommendation for people who have seen the film, considering nothing substantial has changed between the 1997 release. If you like the original film and are willing to pay over $10 to see it in 3D, I would recommend it.

The 3D looks great and the sound is impressive. However, the movie is over three hours long, and the pacing is really slow in many scenes.

Some women will probably like it for the love story, though, as a man, the first two hours tested my patience. The film could have benefitted from substantial editing, better dialog and fleshing out the minor characters more.

As it is, “Titanic in 3D” is OK at best. However, I would probably recommend renting the film over seeing it in theaters.