“You are too young… You haven’t lived your life yet… These are your best years; don’t waste them…”

These are common statements made by people of my generation on getting married young. My fiancé and I are set to get married on October 10th, 2021. I am 23 years old, and she is 22. I believe the notion of “You are too young” is one built by false representations of marriage.

In movies, TV shows and media marriage is increasingly shown at its worst for drama or entertainment. The true meaning and values of a marriage get construed when media shows it in this light, causing a generation of young adults to see marriage as a “trap”. Marriage in media is the same as watching someone get burned on a stove to realize it is hot. Observational learning plays a major role in our life but when observations are disproportionate to reality then reality becomes misconstrued.

Growing up I witnessed a failing marriage. I saw the pain and anguish that can come when people in a marriage separate. From my perspective as a child, I vowed that my children will never be put through those emotions. This is not to say that I didn’t have good parents. I love my parents, but what they went through not only taught me what a bad marriage looks like, but it also has taught me how to forgive.

I believe that at the root of bad marriages is a failure to communicate. Although my fiancé and I are young, we are both mature in our emotions. Emotional maturity comes with being comfortable pointing out your own flaws, to work on them and ask for help if you cannot do it alone. In our relationship, communication is a key factor. We are not without flaw, but what we sometimes lack in skill we make up for in desire. The desire to better oneself, not only for your partner, but for the life God has in store for you.

My fiancé and I both truly believe that God has placed us into each other’s lives. I am not here to tell you how to have faith or what to have faith in. Whether it be God or your partner, faith can play many roles. Faith can show itself in your trust, in your dreams for your future and in your interactions with others. Do you have faith in your relationships? Do you have faith in your future? Do you have faith in strangers? A healthy discussion with your partner on the faith you both hold dearest to you can be a major turning point in your relationship.

When you are comfortable with your own faith and that of your partner,the outside judgments like you are “too young” become nothing more than they truly are, judgments. Observational learning has taught others that marriages are highly unsuccessful, media has taught us that successful marriages need money and movies have taught us that successful marriages are found in heartbreak.

I am here to say that you are not your parents, you are not Kim and Kanye, and you are not living in Schitt’s Creek. You choose how you will react to situations God places you in, and if you are truly in love with your partner, do not feel pressure or doubt from those not in your position. Don’t let others lead a life they are not living and have faith that God will never put you in a situation you cannot handle. You are never “too young” or “too old” to find the love of your life. Let God bless you on your journey in life and let those who enter it have an opportunity to make a positive impact. These are your best years; don’t let others waste them.