I’ve struggled a lot in my life with the thought I will inevitably hurt people. I’m someone who loves fiercely, but sometimes, I love too much; I’ve done that many times and lost. So, here are the many life lessons I’ve learned thus far in a very short life span. 

First, you are never, ever a burden. Your problems can be overwhelming, but if someone truly loves you, then, even in the hard times, they will be there for you to the best of their ability. So reassure yourself, you are not a burden. 

Secondly, it is in fact better to love and lose than to have never loved at all. During many breakups of mine, I found myself wishing I’d never been in a relationship to begin with, but, as time passes, I find how untrue that is. It is such luck to have been in a loving relationship regardless of the end, just give yourself time to find that new normal without them. Loving someone is never a waste of time, regardless of if they don’t feel the same. 

Thirdly, you have to find ways to love yourself. As a twenty one year old woman, I have found that loving myself is one of the most draining tasks in the world. It’s heart wrenching, but it is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Finding ways to take care of yourself is a beautiful practice of self care. Read silly romance novels or take yourself on a date, but always do it with kindness and not obligation. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

For the fourth thing, it will be silly, but alas one of my favorite lessons. Animals are better than humans. Now, I grew up with dogs, basset hounds specifically – and boy, they are a lot. They are also the most loving and kind dogs I’ve ever had the pleasure of being around, and my basset hound Huck is the light of my life. But, last year while still with an ex of mine, we found two little kittens – and boy, was my life changed. Salem and Gnocchi were my life, and when we lost Gnocchi, I realized how much animals mean. They love you unconditionally. Now, my two cats, Salem and Ozzie, are my silly little life. I am forever proud to be a crazy cat lady with a lil basset hound at my side. 

Fifth up, take care of your mental health problems; they are not embarrassing. Asking for help is the most selfless thing you can do, because, at the end of the day, the world will always be a better place with you in it. 

Finally, family is everything. Now, for me, this includes a found family also. But, specifically, my siblings, parents, nieces and nephews are the entire reason I am here. When my nephew Asher was born I was only fifteen and my entire world view changed. This little human swiftly became the best thing to ever happen to me. He upended everything I thought I had figured out in my teen years, and he showed me how much love you can truly feel. This feeling only grew as I had another nephew and two nieces come along. Not only do I have the best family, I have the best friends in my life too. They are patient and kind with me even when I maybe don’t deserve it. It is because of these two lifelines I am here today, and I couldn’t be more grateful. To everyone who has been in my life over this past year, you are everything to me, and to everyone I may have lost over my life, you will always be in my heart held dearly.