What is love? The age-old question can plague the heart and mind for years, often with no answer or end. 

People devote entire songs, movies, books and works of art to it and it is easy to see there is not a limit on love and whom it can reach.

But in a time where divorce rates are steadily rising and older generations are discouraging millennials from hastily rushing into a relationship or marriage, how can a young adult know their love for someone is real?

“It really comes down to how you define love,” said psychology professor Gabriela Carrasco. “There are different types of love styles, and it depends on what kinds of love you believe in and follow.”

Determining one’s love style comes down to what they expect from the relationship, Carrasco said.

“(It depends on) what you want out of a relationship and what you’re willing to give in a relationship, as well as what you expect from the other person,” she said. 

A common view or expectation of love and relationships may have developed amongst people, though, Carrasco said.

“I think a lot of people have this view of love and a warped expectation of what love is,” she said. “It’s very media-driven and superficial, and if that’s what you think love is, then no, I don’t think college students can be in love. But it’s not because they’re college students — I just don’t think anyone can sustain that type of relationship.”

Relationships, especially those that are long-term, take effort, said senior Amanda Daniel.

“I love my fiancé more today than ever,” Daniel said. “It’s work, yes, but you have to make the decision to feed the relationship. Relationships are like plants — if you take care of it it’ll bloom, but if you neglect it it’ll die.”

Understanding what both people expect and how the other person loves can make for a more practical relationship, Carrasco said.

“I think you can sustain that relationship (as a young adult), but it requires more than this belief that things just happen almost magically,” Carrasco said.

Whether someone is looking for love or just for fun, creating a successful relationship starts with understanding both people are human beings and not just a commodity for the other person, Carrasco said.

“You’ve heard what people say about ‘It’s more than the sum of its parts,’” she said. “I think a relationship is more than the sum of its parts. And you have to treat it like an entity, so you have to maintain it.”

Relationship maintenance can make all of the difference in whether or not someone stays in love, Daniel said.

“You can stay in love, but you can also fall out of love depending on what you choose to do,” she said.

Editor’s note: for a humorous take on college romance, click here.