The weekend before last was a wild one. I normally try to keep my editorials generic, but I must share my weekend with you all. Parker Hendricks, Ben Ray and I took a trip to Memphis to watch the Grizzlies play.

The game was fun, and I finally had the pleasure of watching Chris Paul work his magic on the court, but it was during the pregame warm-ups that I had a startling realization: America is the land of mindless entertainment and excess.

During the warm-ups, the Grizzlies ran on the court as the announcer yelled at the top of his lungs, pyrotechnics blazed behind the goal and the music has enough bass in it to satisfy any drug dealer. I literally thought I was about to encounter the famous “brown note.” After the warm-ups, I felt exhausted.

It really made me think about the way I spend my free time. Am I that pathetic that I’m analyzing the American culture at a sporting event? I think so. I assumed that my weekend couldn’t get any better.

Then, I posted my MacBook Pro on Craigslist. Aside from three legitimate people interested, I was completely intrigued by one person’s response. I’ll change his name to Drago for the purposes of this editorial.

Drago responded to my post by asking three questions: How well does your MacBook hold a charge? Are there any scratches on it? What operating system is it running? All three were very valid, and I responded to them. Then, he hit me with a twist more mind blowing than any given M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. This is the e-mail I received:

“Wow, that sounds awesome. I’ve got a deal for you. I’ve got about $300 I can give you. But on top of that I’ll give you a 1994 Ford Taurus. She is a little old but still runs like a dream. I included a picture. And in addition to those two I’ll throw in say, 20 hours of baby sitting. I’m really good with kids. I’m fully open to negotiating. Let me know what you think.

“p.s. I’ve got yorkie puppies I’d be willing to throw in in lieu of the baby sitting. They’re not purebred, but they’re still cute as a button.”

I was sure I had fallen into a Parker Hendricks prank paying me back for the years of agony I have caused him. Nevertheless, I replied:

“Although your offer is enticing, I have to decline (unless you can throw in two dozen Krispy Kremes and a mint condition Teddy Ruxspin. Then I MIGHT reconsider).”

I’m in the market for a newer car. I really have my eye on a four-door Jeep Wrangler. Drago single handedly changed my bargaining technique. I plan on walking up to the salesman and throwing it all on the table.

“Hi, my name is Ben Skipworth. I’ve got my eye on that black Jeep Wrangler. Look, you know what I want, and I know what you want. Let’s just cut to the chase. I’ve got $3000 I can pay you. I can also trade in my 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee.

“I have a used Talkboy (with additional cassettes documenting my experience being separated from my parents on a family vacation to NYC), the ‘Back to the Future’ trilogy on Blu-Ray, a PSA 10-grade Upper Deck Darko Milicic rookie card and three months of lawn care service I’m willing to throw in as well. So, are we ready to pen this thing out?”

And for some crazy reason I thought “Pawn Stars” was the only real life incident featuring people getting ripped off. So, unless I get my mint condition Teddy Ruxspin, I will not be selling my MacBook Pro to Drago.