An Ode to Masks
October 1, 2020
Masks, I do not love you so,
But where do you go?
I started off with ten
Now I’m missing five friends
Are you in my purse or car?
Did I leave you away and far?
Do you hide in the laundry room?
I need to find you by this afternoon!
Should I consult Dr. Seuss?
And check a loose moose’s caboose?
Should I order seven more?
Or wait to throw mine out the door?
Masks, I do not love you so,
But where do you go?
Like your new cousin socks
You’re sneaky as a fox
And just as stinky too
I put mine on— “pee yew!”
Now my glasses always fog
This cloth is humid as a bog
You give me awful pimples
And hide my cute, sweet dimples
You made lipstick sales go down
Now I never wear red on the town
But on campus? It’s you and me.
This piece of cloth and my attempted degree
Masks, I do not love you so
But you shook the status quo
Professors have hated you for a while
You hide our expressions and winning smiles
Confused? Bored? Laughing? They don’t know
We show up an hour a week, then they let us go
I don’t have to talk to strangers in the halls
Do I keep you on in bathroom stalls?
No one can see if I’m rolling my eyes
That we’re forced to wear this annoying disguise
Even when we wear it right
They’ll send us to quarantine overnight
Do you work? Do you help?
Depends on what the politicians yelp
Masks, I do not love you so
I can’t wait for you to go
I’ll take you to the trash
I’ll throw the biggest bash
I’ll set you all on fire
Don’t think that I’m a liar
When this pandemic ends
I’m hugging all my friends
I’m singing on Court Street
I’m watching sports compete
I’m enjoying burgers at tailgate
Roar Lions! We won again! This time by eight!
We’ll appreciate smiles more
And freshmen will experience a real SOAR
We can all resume to party
And dance along to Playboi Cardi
Class the next day will be my delight
I’ll do the reading every night
But, until this great day comes
We’ll eat the crackers and the crumbs
And take what we can get
We’re trying not to fret
This campus is our home
And I’d be no fun alone