offers dismal options during free trial

Kali Daniel

“The things I do for this job,” is all I could say to myself as I signed up for a profile on Match. Dating sites are not for me, but I can understand why people would use them. With dating sites I’ve used in the past, however, I am generally left feeling desperate, lonely and incredibly self-conscious; therefore, no dating sites for me.

When the story was pitched, though, I thought it would be an interesting experiment. So here I am, editor extraordinaire, giving you the play-by-play for Match’s three-day free trial and whether or not it’s worth continuing.

Day 1, Hour 1

My account is set up. I used the most accurate photos of me (shoutout to Jason Pangilinan’s COM 243 class since I’m sure that’s the reason we got headshots), and I winked at two people. All is calm on the digital front.

Day 1, Hour 13

All North Alabama has to offer me is either men who love “huntin’, fishin’ and bein’ on the water,” guys named “TheOne” and “TheFinesseGuy” or 35-year-olds. I am quickly realizing this is not for me. Every profile has an income range for the guy (which I don’t care about), with what he expects his ideal lady to make. Nine times out of 10, he doesn’t want you making more than him. This is a problem.

Day 2, Hour 2

As the second round of matches crosses my screen, I am seeing only guys that don’t fit my most basic requests: they aren’t within my ideal age range (20-27), and they’re not Christian. This is disappointing. I’ve had four profile views, all of whom are over the age of 27 (one is 55). I am now not only disappointed, but uncomfortable. I’ve also begun looking in the city I’m from, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. These results are much better. To experiment, I’m changing my profile photo to something more “attractive.”

Day 2, Hour 12

I have had seven page views since I changed my profile picture (as opposed to four in an entire 24 hours). I also got a wink. Granted, they are all still out of my selected age range. I’m not sure what Match is going for, but they really want me to be with someone 10 years older than me.

Day 2, Hour 16

I’m up to two winks and 15 views. One of the winks is from Virginia. That’s a long commute.

Day 3, Hour 17

Here lies the conclusion of my escapade. I have 23 views and I am canceling my account before the free trial ends.

Ultimately, I have learned a number of things:

  • Dating sites are not for me.
  • Three days is not enough time to find “The One.”
  • I’m apparently meant to be with someone 10 years older than me.
  • Match can be perfect for you if you buy a ton of upgrades to get noticed by someone you’re even remotely interested in.
  • It seems about the same as OKCupid, honestly, except these people are paying $20 a month to talk to you.